My writing is similar - an anguish to do but something that I think about all the time when I can't sit at my keyboard. It's enough to drive me crazy. So many things try to get my attention. Art projects run around my head. Stories and plot lines vie with characters to try and get my nod. Different media jump up and down saying "time to bead", "time to paint", "time to draw", "time to work with the kiln". And somewhere in all that cacophony I have to crack the whip and decide what to spend my limited time on.
CRACK! I've been working on character sheets for the characters in my o-fic. It's slow, but once each one finds their voice, then the character starts to live. I still have so many doubts about this novel - whether I have enough plot to make a book out of this, whether the characters are strong enough to hold interest, and whether my own skills are up to the task. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm keeping the whip cracking - exercise in the morning listening to Lynn Flewelling, writing or thinking about the story for the rest of the day, working on my research and background work for NaNo. Will I succeed in November? If I can sit down and give it my best, knowing that most authors have several novels in their bottom drawers that will never see the light, I can feel comfortable at lest trying my best. We'll see...November is still a couple of months away...