engarian (engarian) wrote,

Different Outlooks

Yesterday my DH took a full day off work, something that he rarely does. His stated plans were to walk on the treadmill for a while, then spend the day drawing. He had a vision in his head about what he wanted as an image and planned to sit at his desk and work on it.

DH looks at retirement with hesitation and wonders how he can pass over the road.

I spoke to him late in the day and he was disappointed in his day, but when I got home it was obvious that he was massively depressed. He sat down to draw and didn't accomplish anything. Then he tried to photograph some things with his digital camera and that also came to naught. At least he wasn't able to get the image the way he wanted. He looked at me almost accusingly because I photograph all the time and draw whenever I can and I write, etc. He's starting to look at retirement as one long desolate road without anything for him to do.

I look at my road to retirement as a road of choices and hidden possibilities and I can hardly wait to explore.

I have my day off today. I'll be washing clothes, writing stories, I have an artpiece that I promised a friend that I would like to get started on, and I need to get all of my financial information put away. I'm massively behind on reading the short stories and ficlets written by others of my LJ friends, and ... gee ... I don't think I'll be bored! Nope, not at all. I understand depression, I sink into it periodically and it is anything but pleasant. But I've spent many, many years trying to pull myself out of it and force myself to do activities that I know will help me in the long run. DH is just not a pro-active person and just spirals down and down. Oy! Have a fantastic Wednesday, I know I will :-)
Tags: b2me, drawing, dreams, retire, studio day, writing

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