Tolkien, artist

Different Outlooks

Yesterday my DH took a full day off work, something that he rarely does. His stated plans were to walk on the treadmill for a while, then spend the day drawing. He had a vision in his head about what he wanted as an image and planned to sit at his desk and work on it.

DH looks at retirement with hesitation and wonders how he can pass over the road.

I spoke to him late in the day and he was disappointed in his day, but when I got home it was obvious that he was massively depressed. He sat down to draw and didn't accomplish anything. Then he tried to photograph some things with his digital camera and that also came to naught. At least he wasn't able to get the image the way he wanted. He looked at me almost accusingly because I photograph all the time and draw whenever I can and I write, etc. He's starting to look at retirement as one long desolate road without anything for him to do.

I look at my road to retirement as a road of choices and hidden possibilities and I can hardly wait to explore.

I have my day off today. I'll be washing clothes, writing stories, I have an artpiece that I promised a friend that I would like to get started on, and I need to get all of my financial information put away. I'm massively behind on reading the short stories and ficlets written by others of my LJ friends, and ... gee ... I don't think I'll be bored! Nope, not at all. I understand depression, I sink into it periodically and it is anything but pleasant. But I've spent many, many years trying to pull myself out of it and force myself to do activities that I know will help me in the long run. DH is just not a pro-active person and just spirals down and down. Oy! Have a fantastic Wednesday, I know I will :-)
I hope he'll have more success next time. As for retirement - well, he can read, right? And perhaps he'll find something to do around the house?
If he's around the house too much he'll only be getting in my way which won't work well for me.

The kicker is that he has things he wants to do, but he's losing the patience to learn them. You just can't jump into something and expect to do it fabulously, first time out. It just doesn't happen. There is always a learning curve. But he's not willing to put the time into the learning even though he wants to do/make/create the end result. *sigh* - MEN!

- Erulisse (one L)
I look at my road to retirement as a road of choices and hidden possibilities and I can hardly wait to explore.

Me too!
I really can hardly wait, I have so many things I want larger blocks of time to spend playing with.

- Erulisse (one L)
Depression is never easy, regardless of the cause. I'm with you on not being easily bored, I manage to get depressed for quite other reasons but at least am never bored.

From my experience, many of the movers and shakers of social groups, political movements etc. are retired volunteers. If it's a matter of wanting to feel like he's still contributing, that might benefit him (interjects a person who really knows nothing of him or the situation), but then again non-pro-activeness tends to work against that kind of thing.

Lovely photo illustrations as always.

Hope your day is awesome. =)
I would love to get him involved in something like that, but he's very reluctant because of his hearing problems. Oh well, I'll end up throwing him into the deep end and seeing if he can swim. :-)

- Erulisse (one L)
I share your outlook, and hope your DH can come to see the road ahead as a page for him to write on and experience new adventures.
We'll retire one way or another because I refuse to work for many more years. I want to travel, I want to write, I want to do my artwork, I want to experience a creative life. Feh on him - LOL.

- Erulisse (one L)
Men need to find something to do, and they are rarely as imaginative about it as we are. I hope he finds something.
I must say that I don't know any women who were bored when they retired, although I have known some men who were. I think it is because women are always juggling many things and want time to explore themselves in depth. Men define themselves through their careers and when those aren't there any longer then they feel that their worth disappeared also. Silly boys!

- Erulisse (one L)